Monday, April 12, 2010

Something New:

Tuesday April 6th:
Day 1: Today I decided to do something that will challenge me.

Wednesday April 7th:
Day 2: Today I talked to many strangers, and asked them about themselves. The bus driver called me cheerful.

Thursday April 8th:
Day 3: Today I’m not wearing shoes. I’m going to raise awareness for this cause regardless of the bus drivers and teachers who tell me I can’t.

Friday April 9th:
Day 4: Today I asked a stranger if I could take a picture of them

Saturday April 10th:
Day 5: Today, I chose to be happy anyways. I found beauty in simple things.

Sunday April 11th:
Day 6: Today I made a decision I didn’t want to make, relying on the only hope I knew how to find. Thanks, Abba.

Monday April 12th:
Day 7: Today I lead the leaders.


There's an update.... more to come. :o)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why should I gain from His reward?

How deep the Fathers love for me
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My guilt upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom


I cannot believe I gain from Christ's reward. I cannot believe He chooses to use me. I cannot believe that He has forgiven me, wholly. I cannot believe that He loves me. I cannot believe He wants me to spend eternity with Him. I cannot believe that His strength is made PERFECT through my weakness.

But I have to believe. My heart is steadfast, O Lord, My heart is steadfast.

Abba,

I thank you so much for the greatest pain you felt on that cross even for the least of my sins. I am so grateful that through my mistakes, you can still find a way to be glorified. You've given me immense opportunity to serve You and You've given me and overwhelming peace that I am in the center of Your will. Father, I am so thankful for that.

Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.


Yours alone,

-Aly


Sunday, February 7, 2010

New beginnings


I just completed writing in my entire journal. Finishing a journal is almost like ending a chapter; I went back through almost everything that I have written. I started the journal my first day in Thailand. At the moment, I’m so filled with so many emotions. There have been times in these past 7 months that I have been so broken, so beat down; yet there have been times where it’s so evident I was seeking the perfect will of God for my life. It’s safe to say I’ve grown up a lot since I started this journal, God has fixed so many problems and I’ve been able to mature immensely. I also realize I have so much more growing, and maturing to do and I think I truly am looking forward to that.

Here’s one entry that brings me a bit of encouragement:

28 August 2009-

Father,
I don’t know how you continuously do this- but you have blessed me beyond belief! why would you love me and hold me so tight? Why would you choose to use me? I am so unworthy yet you give me so much! Father I will never understand why you chose a wretched soul like me to do your work- but know that I am so thankful, so grateful for your love! There is no one like you; there never could be! I praise you Jesus and I worship you always. My heart is forever yours, I’m asking you to keep it and protect it forever. Only share it when it is your perfect timing and know that I am ok with that. Even though I will complain- know that I want what and who you have planned for me.

I am personally thankful for:

Surrendering
Learning I am loved
Coming to Liberty
Leading a prayer group
Finding hope
Having Faith
Endurance to love
My family
My friends
My roommate <3
Dorm leadership
Rachel Ivy Glasser
Clarification
New friends
Patience

I love you Abba

Love, Aly

Confession:

I have been using another blog. I've been pulled into the world of tumblr. I will try to maintain my blogspot as well though. no more neglecting. :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

& then I remembered, it's ok.

Sometimes I have so much to say; however, the utterances of my heart rarely seem to procreate these days. My world is different, life is changing all around me. My thoughts are there, and my heart is speaking, but no one seems to be around to hear them anymore. What I really mean, is no one hears what’s unheard. Which is fine in the aspect of, what human could you possibly expect to hear what’s on your heart? Unrealistic expectations of people were never probable, nor did they ever get anyone what they hoped for.(someone to simply understand) How often do I expect people to automatically know the essence of my heart without as much as one word from my mouth? How many times has this in turn, happened to me? I’ve been left wondering countless times why it is I couldn’t understand someone’s feelings. I realize later that maybe if I was explained, even in the slightest way how they were feeling, I might understand a sliver of what they feel. But no, because these days vulnerability is something to fear. Trust yourself, and no one else. It leads me to wonder, do we build our walls because we are trying, and fighting to keep people out? Or are these walls, keeping people from our interior selfs built because we just honestly want to see who is going to take the sincere time to knock them down?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Dear Jesus,

I haven't been a good follower of You. I have messed up and been broken down so much. I've tried to stand up on my own, but repeatedly just fall back again. I try to give you my heart, but I hold onto it too tightly. I say I give you my time, but I never spend enough of it with you. I strive to be like You, though no one would be able to tell lately. I want my actions to show my love for You, but have they? I've done nothing but fail You, Lord, and here I am on my knees asking for You to forgive me. Forgive me for not giving You my all, forgive me for making my time my own, You are a sovereign God worth more than what I have to offer.

I belong to You. I give you my life and my time; though all of me will never be enough, I am Yours. I am willing to sacrifice everything in this world, all that I know, to follow You. I want to be made new by Your love. My heart is held by You, and You alone. I will no longer try to take control. Where you call me to go, I will drop everything and diligently go where You say. I drop everything that I am to become who You've called me to be.

I am Yours.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Thailand & such

"When I first saw you, I knew we would be friends" - Minnie That's Minnie and Snow singing one of my favorite songs that Jordan taught to them. It was a really special and one of my favorite moments of the trip! Minnie is a girl who became my little buddy immediately, it's kind of like we sought each other out and became buddies. <--There's her and I during class time.







Me and 25 of my team members set out for our adventure to Thailand, with a population of .6% Christians. (yes, point six percent!) It started when we all met at Liberty University on July 4th-- after getting to know each other and quickly becoming close brothers and sisters in Christ and after a bit of training, we left for Thailand a few days later.  Our first flight from Washington, D.C to Seoul, Korea took 15 hours. It was definitely intense, especially the fact that our connecting flight was suppose to take off 30 minutes after our landing- 26 people running through the airport to catch our next flight was not fun, but thank God we made it. After the 6 hour flight from S. Korea to Bangkok, Thailand we were finally there!

We stayed in a house/apartments on the Global English School's (G.E.S) property. The Ektrakul's own the school and their sons have all either gone to or graduated from 
Liberty University. Pretty much all the kids at G.E.S knew h
ow to speak english, and since our reason for going to Thailand was to present the gospel through teaching english, we didn't work a whole lot in the class rooms with the kids from G.E.S. Since we were living on campus we did get to play wit
h the kids there everyday, and a few of the days we helped the teachers out with teaching the kids science, reading, ect. G.E.S is a Christian school, but still about 98% of the students and their families are still buddhists. Most of the days we worked with kid from the temple schools. Over to the right is a picture of me and a few girls from the first school we taught. my group taught them parts of the body. They were incredible sweet and respectful kids.
Over to the right is a picture of me and a few girls from the first school we taught. My group taught them different parts of the body. They were incredibly sweet and respectful kids.  It was an english day camp for them, and one of the translators said the kids did not want us to leave. 



We also worked with schools that would be like a technical, or community college here in the U.S. That was a bit more challenging, but definitely just as rewarding. The last school we worked with was a university. It was really neat to be able to work with people out own age. Some of them have added me as a fri
end on Face book, which gives me the ability to keep in contact with them!

Here is a picture of BJ, Me and Crystal with the students from the University. 








One of my favorite experiences on this trip, was when we took the G.E.S students to a camp in Thailand. I thought I was going to be put with middle schoolers, but got there and found out I was put with high schoolers.  All I could think was, "Dear Gracious, I hope you know what you're doing God" When Christian and I (he was my co-counselor with our group of high schoolers) met with our group, we were told to come up with a team name and a team cheer and play some ice breakers. The ice breakers failed, and even though we all tried to remember each other's name it was still hard. We ended up breaking out of our meeting without a team name or cheer... Which was definitely discouraging on my part. I felt like I hadn't done a good job and that none of these high schoolers liked me. The next day there were a bunch of different activities and our group split up-- we played a lot of low ropes, which the girls were not fond of and decided not to participate. At that point, I just felt like the worse counselor ever. Kasidet, (or his english name is Tony) one of the guys in my group told me later that I was doing fine, and that it's basically just the Thai culture to be more quiet. After bonding more with everyone, I knew God had put my right where He wanted me. I was able to share my faith with a few of them and now connect with them on face book as well.



These are just a few pictures from the low ropes at the Thai camp. 



One of the most beneficial days to me, was when our group went to volunteer at a school for children with special needs. Not just mental, but physical ones as well. In Thailand, when a child has a mental or physical need-- it is considered a curse, or karma. The children are normally taken out of the house to be kept away. The kids we worked with lived at the school. To be able to watch my teammates literally pour Christ's love into these children who don't even get loved by their own parents was crazy surreal for me. I heard God say "Aly, this is why I brought you here- pour out my love to the nation of Thailand" my heart was filled with overwhelming joy! I am incredibly blessed for that day, and that moment and I can only hope I was able to bless those children a fraction of how I came out of that day, and those weeks in Thailand blessed. 

Now that I've went into excruciating details of what we did there- I will share a little but of what I learned from being in Thailand. 

God transformed my heart to love the Thai people like I didn't know was possible. I didn't choose to go to Thailand. I didn't even know anything about Thailand to be honest. I knew it was in Asia and that was about it! I always thought of international missions in Africa, and that's where I always saw myself going... because they need Jesus... in Africa. My naive mind could never have comprehended the need for our Lord and savior in an Asian culture without experiencing it first hand. For that, I am immensely thankful for God choosing to use me this way. I didn't know one place could be so broken and lost. I asked God to let me, and my team see the Thai people the way He does and it broke my heart. 
One of the most difficult obstacles in sharing the gospel, is that buddhist are generally told to love, accept, and even believe other religions are real and true. After presenting the gospel, some Thai people will believe what you say, and think it's true but when you ask them if they want to follow Jesus they say no because you've just told them about sin and that sex, drugs, and alcohol can be considered a sin in God's eyes. Why would they want to follow a God who doesn't allow them to do the things they like? They have a good point. They don't think the same way we do- their minds are more abstract than ours, so any points of the gospel that would make sense to someone in the states, would be confusing to someone in Thailand, even if they did speak english.  

There was a moment while we were at the Thai camp, that me and a few of my team members looked up to the midnight sky and just stared at the beautiful stars. They were twinkling! I had never seen stars twinkle. It made me feel so small, so insignificant. I realized at that moment just how much I didn't deserve to be used by God in this way, that what I deserved was to be shackled, and broken. Jesus reminded me that He broke those chains, He died on the cross to fix my broken life, and when He rose again He chose ME to tell the world about it! And how grateful, and overwhelmed I was to know that the creator of the universe who went through extreme pain to save my life, wanted me to tell the world! Even those in Thailand. 

There is nothing greater than knowing He has a plan for you. It took me till the end of the trip to KNOW that God placed ME in Thailand for a REASON. I mean, I knew I would never be there without Him-- but I looked at the struggle of what it took to get me to Thailand, through my doubt and the struggle of raising the funds to be able to go. He basically had to scream to me that though it was painful trying to get to Thailand, and though I doubted His will-- There is healing in that. He blessed me beyond anything I could have ever deserved! 

Now, I know a lot of you are wondering-- would I go back to Thailand? The answer is YES. The moment God says go, that is all it will take. My heart, my soul, my life is in His hands.


Followers