But You were strong enough.

I'm falling on my knees; offering all of me.

Jesus, you're all this heart is living for.

Sometimes my heart hurts, sometimes I am jealous, sometimes I am sad, sometimes I don't know what to do, sometimes I am broken, sometimes I try harder than anyone notices, sometimes I wait a long time with no answer, sometimes I forget to listen, sometimes I forget what I stand for, sometimes I make decisions that I shouldn't, sometimes I reach too high, sometimes I lose hope, and sometimes I am scared; truly and honestly scared. 

I would never actually like to admit that. But this is my blogger in which no one ever reads. 

I'm scared. I'm scared about this summer going to Thailand and I'm scared about this fall attending Liberty University. I shouldn't worry- because God's plan for my life is going to be incredible. But, knowing that- I'm still afraid of being unsuccessful more than anything. 

I am eternally blessed, I have a father who loves me unconditionally, I am used by Christ, I am in love with Him, I have security in eternal life, I have a father who has overcome the world, I am never alone, when I am weak; my God is my strength, when I am strong; He makes me stronger, I serve the God who created the beginning and the end, He chooses to use a wretch like me, I am constantly growing in His love, my faith cannot be shattered, my hope lies in His truth, my heart belongs to Him, I have confidence that He will carry me through, He notices all the things that I do, He knows my sincerity, He reminds me to listen, when I break He puts me back together again-strong than before,  He has commanded me to be strong and courageous, truly and honestly strong and courageous.

I've realized, you can never truly see God's plan for your life when your eyes are filled with tears. To be fearful is ludicrous considering the fact that the only human to escape death, whose father created the very essence of my being, is on MY side.

...But I've got this whole, constant sick-to-my stomach feeling that doesn't want to leave me alone. So, prayer requests? Well, one that the 80+ support letters I sent out would be praying about supporting me-because there is a deadline soon and I will need 50% of the money for Thailand by then. Also, for me as I'm trying to spiritually and mentally prepare myself for the trip... And for discipline in my studies. I think that sums it up.

Thank you :o)

-Aly